Secret Lives of Great Authors by Robert Schnakenberg

Author:Robert Schnakenberg [Schnakenberg, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biographies & Memoirs, Arts & Literature, Authors, Humor & Entertainment, Humor, Reference
ISBN: 9781594747441
Publisher: Quirk Books
Published: 2014-03-18T05:00:00+00:00

I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

Like Sir Mix-a-Lot, Joyce was attracted to one particular part of the female body above all others. When told a story about a cannibal king who selected his royal consorts based on the size of their posteriors, Joyce replied, “I sincerely hope that when Bolshevism finally sweeps the world, it will spare that enlightened potentate.”

KVETCH SESSION

Sometimes a meeting between two literary legends doesn’t quite live up to our lofty expectations. Case in point was Joyce’s 1922 encounter with French writer Marcel Proust. At the time, the two men were the most acclaimed novelists in the world. When they turned up at the same Paris dinner party, the room fell silent. People assumed the literary geniuses would have a lot in common—and they were right. Like two alter cockers on a park bench, Joyce and Proust immediately started complaining to each other about their various ailments. “I’ve headaches every day. My eyes are terrible,” Joyce groused. “My poor stomach. What am I going to do? It’s killing me!” countered Proust. After a bit more awkward small talk about how much they enjoyed eating truffles, each admitted he had not read the other’s work. With nothing left to chat about, the notoriously shy Proust made a beeline for the door. Joyce accompanied him home in his taxi, hoping to continue their conversation, but, alas, it was not to be. The author of Remembrance of Things Past vanished into his Paris flat, without so much as offering his guest a madeleine for the ride home.

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